Make Me An Offer....
March 5th 2018
Troubled Italian dining chain Prezzo owes banks and suppliers almost £220m, including £120k for furniture…must be those Versace napkin holders. 100 branches are to close, following Jamie’s Italian and Strada closing dozens of restaurants earlier this year. One has to wonder what the big bosses make of it all….
http://bit.ly/2CX4IGo
MAKE ME AN OFFER…..
GRAMS: “THE GODFATHER” ORIGINAL THEME MUSIC
DON CORLEONE: Friends, I have brought you here today to discuss a very serious matter.
GANGSTER 1: The Italian election results, Don Corleone?
DON: No, worse that that. The Decline of the Roman Empire!
ALL: (GASP)
DON: By which I mean the UK Italian Restaurant Chain Empire…
GANGSTER 2: MAMMA MIA!
DON: Prezzo, Zizzi, ASK, Bella Italia…
GANGSTER 1: …Carluccio, may he rest in peace
DON: Indeed….all are spending too much, trying to expand their territory. We need to reign them in.
GANGSTER 2: Don Corleone, we have Mr Oliver outside?
DON: See him in.
JAMIE OLIVER: (inaudible rapid mockney slang) All right geezer, pukka pukka!
GRAMS: THE GODFATHER THEME PLAYS IN BACKGROUND
DON: Jamie, we have known each other many years. My wife is godmother to your 27 children. Your first boss was an Italian, Gennaro…
GANGSTER 1: Hey, I love that guy!
DON: You made beautiful cookery programmes together. This is the first time you have asked for my help…..but let us be frank. You never wanted my friendship. And you were afraid to be in my debt. You found paradise in the UK Italian restaurant scene. You didn’t need a friend like me…now you ask for my help. But you don’t ask with respect….
JAMIE: (inaudible mockney slang) Bang it, cracking, lovely jubly..
DON: Jamie, I heard you on this radio show last week, joking about your debts. Why do you joke? Why do you treat me with such disrespect?
JAMIE: (more inaudible mockney slang, mixed with crying) Sweet, wicked, mate, sob…
GANGSTER 2: Put your bottom lip away, Jamie..
DON: If you had come in friendship, then I would help you. And if an honest man like you should make enemies…
GANGSTER 1: Gordon Ramsay! (spits)
DON: …they would be my enemies. And then they would fear you.
GANGSTER 2: Kiss the hand of your Godfather
GANGSTER 1: Try not to dribble so much.
JAMIE: (whimpering) Pukka…
DON: Good…some day, and that day may never come, I will ask a service charge of you…
GANGSTER 2: No more than 15%
DON: Until that day, accept this help as a gift on my daughter’s wedding day
JAMIE: (whimpering) geezer, pukka, sweet…
FX: DOOR CLOSES
DON: Who are my daughter’s wedding caterers, by the way?
GANGSTER 1: Frankie and Benny, Don Corleone.
DON: May God help us…
END
http://bit.ly/2CX4IGo
MAKE ME AN OFFER…..
GRAMS: “THE GODFATHER” ORIGINAL THEME MUSIC
DON CORLEONE: Friends, I have brought you here today to discuss a very serious matter.
GANGSTER 1: The Italian election results, Don Corleone?
DON: No, worse that that. The Decline of the Roman Empire!
ALL: (GASP)
DON: By which I mean the UK Italian Restaurant Chain Empire…
GANGSTER 2: MAMMA MIA!
DON: Prezzo, Zizzi, ASK, Bella Italia…
GANGSTER 1: …Carluccio, may he rest in peace
DON: Indeed….all are spending too much, trying to expand their territory. We need to reign them in.
GANGSTER 2: Don Corleone, we have Mr Oliver outside?
DON: See him in.
JAMIE OLIVER: (inaudible rapid mockney slang) All right geezer, pukka pukka!
GRAMS: THE GODFATHER THEME PLAYS IN BACKGROUND
DON: Jamie, we have known each other many years. My wife is godmother to your 27 children. Your first boss was an Italian, Gennaro…
GANGSTER 1: Hey, I love that guy!
DON: You made beautiful cookery programmes together. This is the first time you have asked for my help…..but let us be frank. You never wanted my friendship. And you were afraid to be in my debt. You found paradise in the UK Italian restaurant scene. You didn’t need a friend like me…now you ask for my help. But you don’t ask with respect….
JAMIE: (inaudible mockney slang) Bang it, cracking, lovely jubly..
DON: Jamie, I heard you on this radio show last week, joking about your debts. Why do you joke? Why do you treat me with such disrespect?
JAMIE: (more inaudible mockney slang, mixed with crying) Sweet, wicked, mate, sob…
GANGSTER 2: Put your bottom lip away, Jamie..
DON: If you had come in friendship, then I would help you. And if an honest man like you should make enemies…
GANGSTER 1: Gordon Ramsay! (spits)
DON: …they would be my enemies. And then they would fear you.
GANGSTER 2: Kiss the hand of your Godfather
GANGSTER 1: Try not to dribble so much.
JAMIE: (whimpering) Pukka…
DON: Good…some day, and that day may never come, I will ask a service charge of you…
GANGSTER 2: No more than 15%
DON: Until that day, accept this help as a gift on my daughter’s wedding day
JAMIE: (whimpering) geezer, pukka, sweet…
FX: DOOR CLOSES
DON: Who are my daughter’s wedding caterers, by the way?
GANGSTER 1: Frankie and Benny, Don Corleone.
DON: May God help us…
END